I had my first artistic identity crisis in 2019. I was exposed to art styles and how they made artists stand out. My art felt clumsy and weird. I was an amateur artist, and my art showed it. My exposure to art online changed my entire perspective of what art was to my eyes since I started to exhibit as a real artist in 2017. My community became the internet, and the great diversity and level of advanced and professional artists sharing their art online led me to my first artistic identity crisis.
What is an artistic identity crisis?
In a few words, it is a period of frustration and confusion where an artist starts questioning their art and how the latter relates to who they are, or even starts questioning their art medium and the way they express themselves through it. This confusion is often followed by fresh inspiration, resulting in the emergence of something new.
And although an artistic identity crisis sounds kind of negative, I wouldn’t say it is. In my case, it was an epiphany kind of thing. I wanted to get into art more in real life as well as online. I wanted art to be my persona. So I started reading more about art. Creating more art. I was heavily Instagramming and Pinteresting as other artists did, and most importantly, I started analyzing myself and the depths of my inspirations in hopes of creating art that looked like mine.
After almost two years of crisis and many great and bad ideas, 2021 came, and I really reinvented my art style. It felt like I was finally creating something that spoke to me. I started making plans for exhibitions. I laid out a roadmap clearly enough on what paintings I was willing to create, the topics I would love to touch on, and the sense of style I wanted my art to radiate. Slow and steady, I thought I was done for good. I genuinely thought I was never going to question my artistic identity again.
What happened then?
My art identity evolution felt slow and consistent as I was creating and making little changes with no extreme shifts.
My assumption was that for the rest of my life, I would keep gradually developing the same art style and building the same art identity that I reinvented for myself in 2021. I was so wrong!
I recently fell into an artistic identity crisis AGAIN!
There were some signs that it was coming, but I somehow insisted on focusing on working instead of overthinking my artistic identity again.
My style over the years has changed drastically. When I first started painting, I loved portraits and the use of bright and bold colors. Then I slowly started losing interest in painting detailed portraits and gravitated more towards monochromatic color schemes with a heavy use of nudes and neutral tones. Right now, I have no idea what I want to create. I am simply sitting here with a crazy desire to change everything.
This isn’t rooted in a desire to create art that looks or feels a certain way. It is a feeling of being ready for another reinvention. I just woke up one day with a desire to do something different. A new artistic medium, a new story to tell, and no plan on how or what to do next.
I am much more experienced with art now, much more open, and not afraid of experimenting, changing, and trying new stuff. Best of all, I do not feel entitled to any previous work I have created.
Making the choice to change your artistic identity
It is quite a challenge to choose change. Human nature is addicted to familiarity, but I think that the excitement of liminality cannot be denied.
Whether in art or not, you are going to experience a time in your life when you feel like you want to change things (art style, where you live, your job, your relationships, etc.).
Figure out the reason for this shift or desire to make drastic changes
In my case, painting was never the only medium I loved and used to express myself. Painting was actually one of the many mediums that I used, and I feel like other ways of expressing myself might be more efficient than painting for the time being.
And if you’re wondering what other reasons could lead you to feel an artistic identity crisis, consider growing up, moving a city, experiencing a new community, a breakup, and any other major life shift that could inspire you to do something differently.
Be responsible when changing
Do not change because you want to fit in or because there’s external pressure telling you to do so. You may regret your decisions once that external pressure is gone.
Consider if the cause of your artistic identity crisis is an online trend
Viral trends are not timeless. If your art is looking weird to you just because it doesn’t match with an online trend and you decide to change your entire art identity, just make sure you’re actually feeling the need to adapt and change to your core instead of being simply attracted to the virality of the trend, if that makes any sense.
Make sure you’re not using your art as a coping mechanism
I know a lot of artists use their creativity to cope with other life issues. If you are feeling an artistic identity crisis just because of that, you may need to give yourself some time until your mind calms down before you decide to change your art style or ditch your old paintings and creations.
Do some good research
Make some mood boards. This will give you an idea of the steps to follow for an artistic identity change. What is it you need to change? your color palettes? subject choices? or your working style?
If you have a lot of impressionist paintings pinned on your Pinterest or mood board, maybe it’s time to try painting in an impressionist style. But if you only pin one abstract painting, then maybe you do not actually want to go abstract but are only attracted to a color scheme, the harmony of shapes, or a composition.
Figure out what you like the most and what the key pieces of your new artistic identity are.
Absorb as much art as possible
The more you see and expose yourself to art, the better understanding you’ll have about how you want to reinvent your own style.
Get rid of your emotional ties with your old art
When you go through your older art, you are going to be triggered here and there. Be decisive about moving on and reinventing your art style. I know you worked hard on painting your previous works of art, but it will do you more harm than good to keep on promoting your old work. It will lead to confusion and make your audience emotionally attached to a past version of you.
Conclusion
I wanted to write this blog post for anyone out there who might be experiencing an artistic identity crisis. You’re not alone, and it’s not weird or crazy. You do not have to keep creating work that is no longer meaningful to you. Move on and start anew. You only live once and if you choose a life of creativity, make sure you enjoy creating <3
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